I'd been having pains for quite some time in my right side. They would come, they would go, those pains. I couldn't eat well during the pains. I looked up the reasoning for the pain on the Internet. Everything pointed to two possibilities, one was appendicitis, which didn't make sense, since appendicitis doesn't last for a week at a time and then go away and then reappear again going on for two years. That left the second possibility which was cancer.
I couldn't afford to have cancer, I was no longer insured. So it got ignored. For about two years.
Then the time came that, I could no longer eat food, it wasn't coming out the one end it should of, instead, at the other end where I could only throw up my meals.
I had lost 35 pounds, but just thought how great it was to lose weight for once since menopause.
On February 6th at about 1:00 am in the morning, the pain I had been feeling all day in my side, was getting so bad, I couldn't lay down, I couldn't stand, I just couldn't take it any more.
I drove myself to the Emergency Room at the Dominican Hospital. When they asked what was wrong, I couldn't think of anything to say except maybe I had appendicitis. It was only a few minutes wait before I was back there. They decided to do a CT scan as I was in obvious pain.
After the scan they were giving me morphine, which helped the pain a little, not a lot.
About a half hour later the Dr. came into the cubicle and patted my leg. It was a sympathy pat if there ever was one. She then announced that "unfortunately it isn't appendicitis, it's colon cancer."
WOW, you start blinking back tears rapidly at that point. Not words you really in your heart expected to hear, not words you ever, ever wanted to hear. You try to be brave. She told me she was sorry and left me alone to finish her paper work.
I laid there and kept thinking, "cancer? cancer?", I didn't cry heavy, just little tears kept insisting on coming down, silent little sad tears.
The Dr. was very efficient and good. She came back with numbers of physicians to call first thing on Monday morning. She had actually called the physicians at 2:00 am that morning to make sure they would see me on Monday. I truly appreciated that, she was a good, kind physician.
As I got ready to leave they told me that they had some prescriptions for me, if I would wait, I told them I would go to the waiting room.
I was hugged by the nurses and desk personnel and wished the best.
The young gentleman that brought out my prescription gave me a big hug as well and told me to stay strong and fight for my life. That made me cry even more. How wonderful they all were.
I went home, climbed into bed and waited to tell my husband in the morning what they had diagnosed.
I cried most of the night.
I begged God to make this not real.
Then I sobbed more, crying these words over and over again, like a broke record: "Please God, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.........
This went on for a few hours.
I'll never forget February 6, 2010
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