Giving

So now it's been time to diverse myself of things I no longer need. I gave my cute 1965 bug to the man that had been fixing it for the past year. The least I could do. I get rid of clothing to the Salvation Army. What do I need to physical items anymore?
While in the hospital after all the tests were done, and there were many, the nurse asks me if I want the truth, and I do.
The truth is I'm too far gone, there is no saving me, go home, enjoy the rest of my life, chemo will only give me a couple of extra months, do I want the tiredness, etc., that chemo is? Or do I want quality over quantity. Ahhhh, I've been given my death sentence, not a happy moment, no, not at all for me this day.

Dying Isn't Easy

So had I not gone into the hospital, I was given one week to live. Thank you Medical, my week passed, and I'm still here.
Next came was my chemo, however, my medical and doctor's office couldn't find a meeting of minds. I was supposed to start chemo in February, I end up starting in March, less time I'm thinking for living my life.
I begin getting rid of the excess of my life, things precious to me, but to no others. Memories that are mine, left with smiles, cannot be transferred to family or friends. I realize at this point, I am not longer making memories for myself, they mean nothing. When I die, they die with me. I am only leaving memories for my family.
Sad.

Paying the bills

So, I've racked up hospital bills I can't pay. Borrowed money to pay my oncologist. I end up at the Santa Cruz Medical?(crap can't think of the name for it) any rate it's for basically homeless people. I made 9,000.00 yes, nine thousand dollars and didn't qualify for the Santa Cruz insurance. Thankfully, the lady passed me on to the medical person. And yes, I qualified for that. I can LIVE. How sad is this??? Making more I wouldn't qualify and would die. How bizarre, I'm thinking we didn't need this whole government insurance thing, just a qualified insurance, your company can't carry you? You don't qualify for medical or medicaid? This is an alternative. DEATH, should not be the alternative, never, never, yet I faced it, and thankfully the State of California, stepped in and saved my life.